Your aunt...Eh??

Brandt here again and I’d like to share a brief experience I had with a co-worker this past week.  I’m sure you were all hoping for a driving related post but Michelle thought that this would also suffice.

So I was in a company provided course this past week (excellent training by the way) and on the final day one of my coworkers from my previous department started talking “family” stuff with me.  It all started with my family here, then my family back home, then my in-laws, etc.  How everyone felt about me living here, how I felt about being away, ya-da, ya-da.

This fellow was, like most locals I work with, quite opinionated and didn’t hold back on anything.  Like most locals I work with he automatically assumed that we lived in the main camp which has now been re-named to the “Senior Camp”.   I told him that we lived off-camp in a local compound and that for this reason I was considering switching over to an operations role so that I could work 28/28.  He said that I should do it because the money is better.  I countered back saying that I felt that keeping my family together was more important at this point.  He continued to argue about money and how it would be better, blah, blah, blah.  I then started to explain to him the 5 Languages of Love (disclaimer: I’ve never read the book but Wikipedia explains it well haha).  I told him that my wife’s “Love Language” is quality time and that it’s important to her that we keep our family together.  This is how the rest of the conversation went:

Me: Ya my love language is “gifts”.  I like receiving nice things.

Him: Yes, my friend, my mother-in-law loves to get money.  All Saudi women love money.

Me: Man, you’ve got it made in the shade if you know how to keep your mother-in-law happy.

Him: Yes, my friend, my aunt really likes it when I give her money

Me: *confused* I thought we were talking about your mother-in-law?

Him: Yes, Brand-it, my aunt, my mother-in-law (aside: trying to explain the silent “D” in my name is painful)

Me: Oh right, they both like money, women LOVE money, hahaha

Him: What you mean both?  Same-same.

Me: Same-same?

Him: Yes, my friend, my mother-in-law and my aunt are the same.

Me: Oh they’re twins, that’s cool

Him: No, my friend, same person

Me: *raise eyebrow, slight jaw drop, confused look*

Him: I married my cousin

Me: *horrible poker face* oh ya, that’s interesting

Him: In Canada you do not marry your cousins?

Me: Uh, no.  In Canada we DO NOT marry our cousins?

Him: Why not? Makes things easy for wedding.

Me: Uh, well, it’s kind of frowned upon *cough-illegal-cough*

Him: Hmmm, that’s very strange.  Here we like it this way; it keeps the family strong.

Me: Ya well, my cousins are all really nice but that’s just not how we do it in Canada. (In my head: stay calm, change the subject, keep eye contact, don’t show weakness)

Him: well you live here now, you should have one come for a visit and then take her as a second.

Me: a second what?

Him: a second wife

Me: *stunned, completely and utterly stunned* huh, I never thought of that, anyways, it sounds like we’re going to be done early for the day; are you going straight to Bahrain or do you have to pick up your wife/cousin first?

This guy was dead serious that I should “take my cousin for a second”.  While I know that some of my female cousins are going to read this let me just say this: you’re all really wonderful people and it’s really super that we’re part of the same family.  Our family is strong enough.  Period. Khalas (done/finished).